Do you think I’m happy?
Do you think I’m funny?
Do you laugh when I laugh?
Do you smile when I smile?

Do you think I’m successful?
Do you think I’m doing well?
Do you think I’m put together
Just because I smile?

Do you think I’m connected,
Because my diary’s always full?
Do you think I’m brave and strong,
Because I walked away?

I might be always dancing,
I might be always smiling,
But inside my heart is crying,
Because I don’t know what to do.

I stand on both feet,
Because I have no other choice.
I keep on going,
Because it’s all I’ve ever known.

Don’t worry I’ll keep on walking forwards.
And I’ll keep on smiling too.
But I don’t know if I’m happy,
Or if I’m simply blue.

I’m forever kicking
Against the endless tide.
No lifejacket, save willpower
Afforded to me.

For years I would imagine
A white gown and new life.
Now all I see is my silhouette alone,
Against a darkening sky.

I see myself forever wandering,
Trying to anchor.
But finding that my only home
Is the ever-changing wind.

My smile can be joy.
My smile can be sadness.
And there’s no way telling
Which one shows up.

So I keep telling myself
To place one foot in front of the other.
And keep walking,
And walking,
And walking,
Until many years later,
When the wind finally calls me home.